A Gifted Sniffer

Being sick has damaged my ability to make decisions. You think I'm going to talk about the mental effects of having a cold. And possibly link this post to a scientific study correlating colds with brain damage. No. You are wrong.

I put my toast in the toaster. It's usually wholegrain bread, I like a little healthy action going on. I wait for it to pop, and sometimes pray it doesn't burn, something God must get sick of hearing. I haven't climbed a mountain, I haven't mastered a language, I haven't swum with a whale, but all my years of being on planet earth have at least amounted to something: I can assemble my toast station in exactly the amount of time the toast takes to cook. This includes getting a knife, placing a plate on the bench, softening the butter, and choosing my spreads (depending whether it's thick bread or sandwich bread I can sometimes fit in time to boil the jug). The last manoeuvre, choosing my spreads, requires me to tune into my inner soul (*stomach) and hear what it feels like eating, and secondly, I must sniff all the available options. I unscrew the lid off the jam, marmite and peanut butter and sniff them. That's truly how I decide.

You eat breakfast, and then you get dressed. Right? Normal people like to lay out their clothes to visualise the colours together, how the patterns gel, and what styles work together. But whether it be turquoise or magenta, I like to sniff my clothes. I don't keep any dirty washing in my wardrobe, so I don't sniff it for the purposes of making sure it is clean, I just sniff it for the sake of sniffing. I can't really explain, and neither can my mum. I was shopping to pick out a scarf, and I went throughout the shop sniffing different lengths of wool, but not getting anywhere, just quietly grumbling because I had a cold and couldn't smell anything. I thought "How can I buy a scarf when I can't even smell it?!" and then I had one of those moments where you think "Is this normal?" and then you realise that no, you are not normal. Sorry. You hear this news in a tone similar to the movie ticket man telling Lost Invaders 3 has sold out, highly antagonistic with vague sympathy. "No tickets left, I'm afraid."

While we're listing the quirks that come along with being born a gifted sniffer, I spray perfume before I go to bed. There is so much peace in knowing that you are surrounded by a nice smell, my sleep is smooth and wrinkle free, my dreams are coloured in by a sweet vanilla aroma.

I've always been obsessive about candles, and I'm realising it's because of my love affair with smells. Each nice smell is like a warm hug. A best friend of mine quietly remarked to me, after I had been to her house multiple times, "You really like smelling things, don't you?" I smiled, because, while I'm not proud of it, it makes me unique and I get more satisfaction out of Yankee candles than even possibly my grandma (which is hard to beat, she's a big fan).

I have been stuck inside the great indoors (it's actually not that great) for the last few days because of a cold. I didn't consent to it and I've been pleading for it leave. I am lost. I am struggling under a weight of decisions. I can't make choices without my sense of smell. I CANNOT SEE CLEARLY WITH A BLOCKED NOSE.

I've just blown my nose about 12 times while writing this post. And, if you're wondering, I chose to spread my toast with Marmite. (I could actually choose that one without sniffing). Do you sniff things to the same extent as me? Are you a smell-obssessed individual? Can a nice smell make you smile?

Madison xx


  1. This is the best post I've read all week. I've never met anyone who does this. I like nice smells, which has left me with an obsession for scented candels, perfumes and scented creams. I even think my lipsticks smell nice. But usually I pick my scarf from the texture and the color not from the smell of it. But I find it so cool that you do this. I hope you have a really nice day :)


  2. Interesting post. I have never known someone who makes his/her choices with smelling. I just make my choices with feel and look but not with smell but I guess so I could try to do the same thing as you do. Probably it will be weird for me but then it is actually cool. It is different :)

  3. I really love your blogs, they are soo interesting. I have just started my own blog and would love some feedback. Thanks

  4. I really like your blog, I think I am going to look at this blog regularly!:)


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