Dear friend,

Today is your birthday. This morning you had sprinkles on your cereal, and watched as another wax candle sunk into the ganache. It's kind of your mood - Santa comes to celebrate with the whole family, but today you're on your own, trying to live a fairytale from the wreckage of these last few months. You don't understand all of time, space, and energy, but you know a petal has fallen to the ground, and when you meet new people, you'll be less able to pretend your surroundings aren't a mess, and freer to admit where you have failed.

It's complex. You feel fine, until someone aggressively asserts that you have to feel special. 'You need to make a fuss over yourself,' and feel connected to everything you have become, and while you're removing the confetti from your eyes, you have to pretend you're not confused and only a little less lost than you were a year ago. You cried in the bathroom at work, but not because you were sad, it just felt natural to wish this past year farewell, and too hard to ignore the nervous but exciting apprehension for the year ahead.

You're a singular soul, stretching into the 21st century, aspiring to be many things, but confused as to what you are. You have a collection of seashells that each meant something to as you a child, because you've always looked for meaning, and sheltered yourself from shallow, painful things that tend to cut deeper than they try. You're older - you're an 'adult,' you're responsible for yourself, and you're wondering if it's worth, you know, lighting the same candles again and blowing them out with your much wiser breath. 

Then Jesus, the Messiah himself, prompts you to wonder if he would forget the day he made you, brought into the earth, out of the womb. No moment is deficient of his kindness and attention to you, and if he says you're a big deal, then it's probably true. You're the kind of person that notices how the sunrise was different this morning, and you care about where commas are placed in sentences. You love to dance alone, and you know you'll never stop learning new things (the exception being the actual lyrics to 'I'm a Believer'). You haven't changed the world, but you're changing your world, and a steadfast heart, turned to the heavens, is a gratuity that will favour and gift others more than just your hard work by itself.

So thank you, from me, and everybody else, for being you. I believe in you and the beautiful way your life will turn out. Happy birthday.

Mads xx

ps. Today is my birthday, yes, and since I'm feeling hesitant about observing the occasion, I thought I'd address my emotions in a letter to anybody else who is turning a year older and feels the same way. WE'LL ALL TURN OUT ALL RIGHT I PROMISE.


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  2. This is really touching as sometimes I feel the same (not only on birthday) Congratulations on your birthday! Your blog is stunning


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