I was sitting in the car
with my dad, and suddenly asked: “Do you interview people at work?” He was open
to talking about it (most dads are glad
to), and he told me the process and the questions, and I felt myself shrink at
the pressure and percieved scariness of The Interview. I was seven and being
questioned in an office sounded awful.
I’ve been in a few
interviews since then. My first wasn’t glamorous – I wore a puffer jacket (it’s
like a duvet but wearable) and some lip gloss from my Mum’s handbag. I walked
into the bookstore, and was briskly guided through several doors, until we
reached a tiny backroom kitchenette. It smelt of noodles and the wheelie chair
I sat on kept wanting to face the other direction, posing a small battle I
fought for the whole ten minutes I was in there. Everything went fine, even
when The Interviewer asked me to name my favourite book, and “sell it in thirty
seconds.” Thank goodness I was homeschooled and have a genuine passion for
literature, because I launched into an enthusiastic description of To Kill A Mockingbird, almost out of
breath as I finished with a convicting sentence on racism. There was mystified
silence, and then The Assistant leaned over to The Interiewer and said: “I’d
buy it.”
I never found out if I
got that job, because I rang up a day later and said to “please remove me from
consideration for employment,” as the timing wasn’t right (stay in school,
kids!). Interviews aren’t avoidable, they’re a factor of life, and they become
a less sweaty experience as you get older. The pressure doesn’t diminish,
though, and it’s even harder not to feel nervous when it’s for your dream job.
Which for many, would be a job at Google (can you tell I just watched The Internship?).
This giant tech company
is known for its incredibly difficult interview questions - they’ve even banned some of them because
someone decided they were ‘silly.’ They have a team of talented individuals, because
as of May 2017, they were valued at $108.8 billion. I’m intrigued by the
processes that foreshadow success, and the practices of those that win, so don’t mind me while I step into
an office as a shaky, fresh, and curious, prospective Google employee.
“List six things that
make you nervous.” Me? Finding out
test results, grape juice near carpet, dental appointments, missed phone calls
from important people, speaking to an unenthusiastic audience, and travelling
solo. This was a question, or command, really, used to interview an Android
support level III employee in 2014. It’s a chance to express yourself beyond
your CV, maybe get a bit cheeky, while remaining fearless in your
vulnerability.
As well as provoking questions about your inner being, Google have asked
a few practical ones too. The Interviewer looks you in the eye and says: “What
three things would you change at your university/workplace if you were CEO
today?” What would I change? You have to think like a leader, which is what
Google expects you to be, if you get the job. Consciously wondering how you can
improve a process or product is what the best leaders do, and don’t be
distraught if you’ve never thought about it before – now’s your chance! (This
isn’t the actual interview dw.)
“You have a colony on Mars that you want to communicate with. How do
you build a system to communicate with them?,” The Interviewer asked
an associate product manager in late 2014. Creativity is what pushes Google to
edge of innovation, so you shouldn’t be surprised if you have to think right to
the edges of your brain, on the spot.
I’d send this colony a communication device with picture instructions on how to
use it, and a returnable space pod for anything they want to send. To make sure
we got off to a good start: I’d include a christmas cracker because a) they’ll
think I’m funny and b) in their amusement, they might send me something back.
You know you’re reaching the climax of the interview when you hear: “Name
a prank you would pull on x manager if you were hired.” I
wonder what the Google applications support engineer, who was asked this, said.
I’m uncertain what I would answer – the only prank I’ve ever masterminded was
when I was out for dinner at someone’s house. I snuck into the kitchen with a
friend, and we made a ‘chocolate’ sauce, with ingredients from the entire spice
drawer, and a prosperous selection of curry powders. The eclairs were served
for dessert, and we conveniently reappeared, holding a jug full of our special dipping sauce. Only one kid tried it,
who immediately ran to the bathroom yelling pre-school swear words, while the
parents realized our crime. I’d probably not
do that again. Maybe, I’d cover their office in uplifting post-it notes and
hopefully not get as ruthlessly punished.
Whether this is an intelligience question or general knowledge test, I
don’t know. The query: “Why are manhole covers round?” has been asked in
several interviews, because it tests
how well you think logically and practically, when an unusual surprise appears
in a high pressure situation. The answer is simple: a square cover would fall
through if it was inserted on a diagonal, whereas a circle has a ‘curve of
constant width,’ meaning it’s the same fit no matter how you rotate it. It
opens a multi-dimensional conversation, however, because there are other
reasons, like average body shape, convenience, and aesthetics. You just have to
think of them (and do it in a reasonable time frame – any silence longer than
nine seconds becomes awkward).
Chances are, neither of us will ever be interviewed at Google, but just
like Google would (probably) say, it’s better to be prepared. And maybe get a
tiny bit geeked out.
I'm in love with your blogs, they have helped me so much in creating my own blogs. Even though they're nothing like yours, I can't wait to improve and have something as great as your some day!!
ReplyDeleteThank you!!
DeleteTbh I wish I got these questions more!! One's like, "when have you worked in a team" or "whats a weakness of yours" just seems so calculated and snorrrrrrre. I once got asked what my spirit animal was and paniced and said, "UHH, a unicorn, wolf, eagle mix??" (I got the gig hehe).
ReplyDeletexx Pia
http://gymbagsandjetlags.com
hahahaha I would've said "MIKE WAZOWSKI" from Monsters Inc tbh
Deletewow... I really enjoyed reading this post. Maybe someday I might get interviewed at Google, never given it a thought but this post just brought up that spark. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeletewww.zinnyfactor.com
you never know hahaha
DeleteI feel like I would say something ridiculous as answer to the weird kind of questions because I would feel like I was under so much pressure. I guess interviews must take practice too.
ReplyDeleteAleeha xXx
http://www.halesaaw.co.uk/
I know right - I'd probably slip in an obscure fact about penguins smh
Deleteim in love with your blog and the content that you've made. I have only just come across your blog but because it is so aesthetically pleasing that I know I am going to read your future posts
ReplyDeleteBecca xx
https://louisebecca.blogspot.co.uk/
NAW THANKS
DeleteReally like this post and your blog!!
ReplyDeleteHope you have a great day:)
https://adventures-around-the-world.blogspot.de/
thanks!
Delete