BAD THINGS HAPPEN

It’s been a while since I posted on here, but that’s never a good sentence to start a post with, so let’s try again.

A small crisis is when you’re late and you can’t find your keys, and a big crisis is when you get in a car crash. I have been in many small crises – leaving my curler on, arriving an hour late, confusing email recipients, accidentally machine washing a hand wash item, and realizing I forgot to text my Grandma back two months later. These ‘emergencies’ happen daily, and I’m countlessly finding ways to counter them. I sometimes talk about them, but there should be one spot for bad things that happen, and a large spot for the good things that happen, and they should never be confused or unfairly weighted.

Separately, the serious crises are rare and unexpected and momentous. They hit us, sometimes only second hand, but still felt. They’ll shock you out of whatever you thought was reality and give you an instant alternative. You have to be more careful to keep the bright light alive in your mind, as people offer advice and meals and flowers. These ‘big’ events become teachers and they become part of your story, outlasting the trivial and toppled yogurt containers.

I think it’s good not to confuse the two. A bad situation is there – an entity, an individual. We don’t expect it but it happens, and it’s instantly recognizable as a life altering event, depending on our next play. They stand out for all the pain, shock, and life experience they bring. They are bad, and bad things happen.

Sometimes people can make small things, big things. An empty tank of gas following spilt tea on new jeans isn't stressful - it's not enjoyable, but if we give our all to these pressed Tuesday mornings, then what do we have left for bad family news? 

Because this isn’t really a big deal, it’s small. It doesn’t need teary eyes, a racing heart, or a hurried phone call. The more perspective I have gained, the less anything can make me lose it. When I see the big things in the world, and all the surrounding goodbyes, tears, and emptiness, it makes me want to save my most tender and healing response for that scenery. 

Strong people are composed, patient, and carry around enough enthusiasm to dilute any amount of spilt coffee. You are strong, and you are strong.

mads xx